This weekend....

I will write on my blog....

SHE'S BACK.....

Looking forward...

Yes, I have been away for a period of time because I have been busy and I had a brief moment when I realized someone FROM MY PAST was reading my blog and that felt a little intrusive...but I have since struggled with my intention to stop blogging on this site or continue. I've decided this is MY site and it is out there for whomever wants to read it for whatever reason...enough of that...so ONWARD now WITHOUT SELF-CENSORING!

Where to start...

CLEVER...

Riding my bike to work one morning I passed this sign and had decided that on my way home from work it would be a treat to stop and get a slushie...especially if it was all natural.

I thought about it all day, anticipating the refreshing taste of perhaps enjoying an orange slushie as a little break in my homeward bound journey...then as I approached the sign I looked a little closer...clever I thought, very clever...something about honesty. I passed on the slushie experience.

Knotty Trees

Some old trees in a local park really caught my attention this weekend. They are not unlike human skin in the aging process. There was something that really came to life for me for the duration of my walk.

Today it is entirely too windy for me. The crows don't think so though. Looking out my window I see three of them perched on a birch tree just carrying on like it is a normal day. One crow is actually sitting on top of another doing what I can only describe as grooming. The other one waits then takes a turn. While hewaits he appears to be keeping a watchful eye. They don't know I'm watching. What a treat. Now they have switched places and watchful crow is being groomed and groomed crow is watching. Maybe this is a way of keeping warm. I like crows and trees. Last year I saw a crow with a few white feathers on his back. He has not yet appeared this year.

DECISION

There is something very wrong feeling about working on a weekend...now I know I should be grateful...and I am...but I still feel like sleeping in...or having a fresh coffee that I just ground the beans for while still in my pajamas...then drinking it really slow while reading my book or hanging out with the computer...or just doing nothing...hmm...Oh well,it does not happen much...

Sitting here in my window for the 1/2 hr I do have before I must head out...the sun is starting to light up the dew kissed grass which is getting greener and soon will be ready for mowing. It is quiet; I can only hear the tiny whistling snore of of the dog who is asleep on the floor, the the sound of my fingers pounding on the keyboard, and the slurp of my coffee which I must drink faster than I would like.

I have just made a decision to have a good day no matter where I am. My choice yes?

CHOPPED UP RAMBLINGS ABOUT WAITING!!!

I wonder how much time in life we spend waiting for things? On Monday morning I am usually waiting for Friday to arrive, but not before I wait for Monday afternoon to arrive so I can go home and do fun stuff. I wait sometimes for the alarm to go off before i get up, this is if I wake up slightly before it's roar. I wait for the coffee to brew, wait for the dog to poo, (this rhymes...hmmm...) wait to pay for food at the cafeteria line up, wait for reports to print.

What else?...well, so far this morning I have done a few of the above but what I mean I guess is actively waiting like not doing anything else because you are waiting for the thing you are waiting for to happen. Examples of this: waiting for the water to get warm or to that just right temp before you get into the shower, waiting in line ups such as the grocery store or waiting for a bus, waiting for a late person you agreed to meet on a corner,etc...

Have you ever waited for a phone call? Like a phone call from a loved one that you were worried about, one who should be home by now, but is not...such as a child out socializing, a partner late from work or travelling...seconds seem like years yes?
Have you ever waited to do something important until the moment is just right, like for example working out, or chasing a dream you may have.
Have you ever waited to hear a yes/no answer from an institution that would decide which road you take... seems like FOREVER in this instance!!! Have you ever waited for a cheque in the mail?
What about waiting to deliver a baby?
Waiting for morning...
Waiting for evening...
Waiting until it stops raining to go for a walk...waiting for something to download/upload/reload...whatever....
I don't know why I'm worked up about waiting...but I am...just wondering if we added up "waiting time" (after a clear definition of course...) what would the answer be...there must be a study on this somewhere... PAUSE...

Yesterday, I decided not to wait and I walked in the woods while it was raining. It was so beautiful. It was a gentle rain, but cool and refreshing. The fresh scents of spring in the air, the sound of the rain and wind in the trees, the fog on my glasses, the droplets of water on the leaves, the wet mushy leaves on the ground, the movement of water in the little pond...hundreds of tiny moving circles brought to life with every little drop from the sky, the sounds of the dogs shaking the rain off their heads,the sight of the dog rolling in the wet brownish, but freshly exposed grass, smiling with tongue hanging out...Glad I did not WAIT for the rain to stop.

WAIT A MINUTE!

I AM TO BE A NOVELIST

They sure did let it shine, and while this is not the exact performance we saw, it is almost the same...same spirit, same joy, same little lights shinning! It was very bright in the room.

Last week a friend and I went to see an African children's choir. (check out their website). I was moved by the spirit of the children who have been through so much yet were singing their little hearts out joyfully. Their faces shining, their white-toothed smiles surrounded by brown skin making their joy even more evident. They danced enthusiastically in brightly coloured clothing demonstrating and celebrating the traditions of different countries and regions of Africa. Never have I seen such movements, especially in children. The music was beautiful... little hands pounding drums and little voices blending together.

The children range in age from seven to eleven. Most of the children are orphans who have been helped by an organization called Music for Life. They come from all parts of the continent. They are children that may not otherwise have nourishment or life's other basic needs due to circumstances such as AIDS, or civil unrest. These children would have normally lived with few smiles. The organization provides the children with education and life's basic needs, including nurturing. They attend a music camp for several months and if lucky they get to be chosen for the choir. As members of the choir they get to travel to places well beyond their young imaginations. Not only does the choir provide them with opportunities as children though, as they get older the organization provides tuition and training. The objective is to educate some of Africa's most venerable children giving them a chance to give back to Africa. Many of the children go on to become professionals, others choose vocational and technical training , all of which helps Africa in the end because they return to their homeland to work. Sounds like a very good plan. There were many testimonies of adults who have been members of the choir in the past. It was very moving.

As part of the program the children introduced themselves... "My name is Anne or Billy...or whatever and I when I grow up I want to be a ??" It was very cute. Each child said the same line as I quoted above. There were many who wanted to be doctors, lawyers, pilots, one bank manager, a few teachers, and a social workers. So, maybe five or six different career choices. I assumed that recent travel encouraged the high number of "pilot" choices, and that these children really only had exposure to so many careers.

I was particularly moved by one little girl who changed up the line a bit and stated most definitively "My name is Anne and I AM to be a Dr." She believed it and so did I. It made me reflect on the use of language. Perhaps she said it like that on purpose; perhaps she just did not know how else to say it, either way though she made me think about goals and messages we send to ourselves. I now have a note posted near my computer. "I AM to be a novelist". Just trying it out for a while, can't hurt.