A Bit Witchy, Yes...But Why Not?

I have recently returned from a vacation in Western Canada. While there we visited a town in in BC called Nelson. I loved Nelson. We were not there too long, but long enough to feel the place. There was a sense of wholesomeness in the air. Right away we happened upon two large natural food grocery stores, a vegan restaurant and a bakery with all kinds of special  treats that would please even the most particular tastes buds. (gluten free, wheat free, organic everything etc..., and don't even think about buying bottled water)  Yup, Seemed like a free thinking, anything goes, I don't wear deodorant or shave anything that grows naturally, "of course we have patchouli oil and black star diopside", kind of place.  I  would say "hippy" but I am not sure this is a word we use anymore.

Yes...

Black Star Diopside. Beautiful.
This is a stone I had never seen before that I was strongly drawn to while in one of Nelson's many unique shops and galleries. I learn now that this stone is related to the birthstone for March and this is a month that happens to have significant life changing meaning for me. I never really thought much about stones and the energy they carry until I participated in a Shamanic workshop and did a paired journey. (Not to get too side tracked, but in this instance you journey for someone else and they journey for you). The person I was paired with  gave me a piece of crystal to hold during the process and while I  saw no harm in holding onto it, I, having had no expectations, could not deny the  power of the energy that ran through my hand and up my arm on the side where I held her crystal.  Ever since that experience I have decided why not...why couldn't stones hold energy...of course they do.
Hmm..too late, got side tracked didn't I?...Oh well... More about stones as I learn...


While I was standing near the amazing assortment of stones I spotted something I've wanted for a while. Power Animal Oracle Cards. I abandoned the stones (leaving them to a customer who said she felt moved to bless them as she was a stone practitioner) to explore the spiritual cards section. I  could have stayed in this store for hours. I may have.


Yes, I liked very much being in a town where I overheard things like "I'm going to bless these stones".


Took me a moment to choose a pack (yes, I even had choices) but I  settled on one and a few other things before leaving. For a while I left them untouched, just placed them near (but not on yet) my altar (yes I have an altar)  but I finally took them out and gave them the attention they deserved. It is a Shamanic belief that Animal Spirits can help guide us, the cards are just a tool to get in tune with your intuition. Either way, I was delighted to find them.


So...after we got back I consecrated my cards taking a few deep breaths, Said a prayer to the Great Spirit and then breathed the prayer into my fanned out cards, which I held close to my heart. Then I thought of a question Which I said out loud.


Now I know this all sounds a little witchy right? You know, to talk to  the "Great Spirit" and all, but before you judge...think about commonly accepted Christian beliefs about that other great spirit and really its not much different. Some flip through the bible to  find a scripture that inspires or helps them, and that is also a beautiful thing. Think about silent prayers you may have said yourself. 

I continued...


I pulled three cards. SNAKE, RAVEN, And SALMON. I lay them out as per  the instructions I read earlier focusing on my intention and my question.


RAVEN and SALMON cards were upside down. I remembered that upside down cards mean you are blocked in that area and that if you pull the RAVEN card that the meaning or significance of the  card next to it is magnified.


Snake is for healing and represents the past (immediate or distant) ...got that one down pat...but RAVEN (who represents magic or power) was blocked and  SALMON (who represents determination...knowing what you have to do...having what you need to accomplish it) was also blocked. Had a brief moment of panic thinking...gawd...My power is BLOCKED. Took a breath, thought about it and realized a blocked card is no reason to panic...just an indication of what to  work on...and i  do know what I  need to  do...and I  do have what I  need to  do it. Just need to channel my  power. Ask RAVEN for help...turn her right side up damn it!

 It was all new to me, but it did lead to some level clarity and for me, that's what counts.

Before I  put my cards away I considered taking a pic of my card spread  for my blog, but decided that didn't feel so right. Instead the next day I  took a pic of the box they came in. 

Now the cards rest on my altar.


I am glad we went to Nelson. The drive was majestic and what a place to  discover a stone I love and to obtain my cards. A place with water and mountains and fresh air, good food and nice people.

The Helpful Bird

Dreams are strange. I've had some doozies in my day. This morning I abruptly awoke from a dream in which my friend's little girl was falling from a forth floor balcony onto the  pavement. When I got to her she was sitting on a cement block laughing and playing with a tiny bird.

In my frantic state I approached her. She was laughing and teasing me showing me the  bird, her new friend. There was an understanding, you know how dreams are, that the  bird helped softened her fall,  helped her fly. Then the bird flew away  after looking right at me. The little girl assured me it was time for the  bird to  fly away. I'm sure this dream has meaning. In real life this little girl is quite a free spirit, full of silliness and sweetness. I love her. This is a dream that will be with me for a while.

Once I took a  Dreams as Muse for writing workshop with Beth Janzen. It was helpful in  possibly pinpointing personal meaning and then using it to  write. I should go back and use some of the tools I learned figure out possible meaning.

I've had a few dreams that have stayed with me. One in particular from about twenty years ago. Still vivid, still makes no sense. I've never been able to figure it out even though with some contemplation I usually can  make my dreams make sense if necessary. The dream I'm talking about here involved my mother flying  (wingless...hmmm maybe she was floating)  down the street naked. That's not the weird part. She was giving birth to little hippos, kind of fun little characters, but they were made from blueberries. I just observed from my childhood bedroom window.

 

Yeah so in that dream I suppose I could imagine that the blueberries represented a favorite childhood dish that my mother made, (blueberry duff) but the hippo thing, well, a mystery still.

 In the workshop that I referred, you were asked to come with a couple of dreams written down, and then you broke them down, eventually picking aspects that  stick out in your mind. By the end of several different forms of break down and re framing of things you have a poem, or a story, or even an entire fairy tale as was the case by the end of Beth’s workshop. It was an amazing workshop really. Helped me figure out the reason my seemingly insignificant elementary school teacher keeps popping up in my writing and in dreams. 

Sometimes I wonder if dreams are some kind of special power we have within ourselves, to figure things out. I have considered also the possibility that dreams are experiences from past lives. Nah…well, maybe. I don’t rule anything out. Perhaps dreams are just unfinished thoughts from our day, but then why do they have to take on such strange forms? People appear as other people, yet you know for example that your sister in your dream was actually your brother.

The same day I had a dream about my friend’s daughter They happened to visit me that night and as the little girl ran and played I had a familiar feeling from my dream as she climbed up onto the  back of the couch asking her mother to catch her ask she jumped off, I standing on the opposite side in case she fell. Then, my friend who I had told about my vivid dream asked me if I had heard the  report on CBC radio about the 3 year old who fell off  a balcony. She tells me it was on the previous afternoon. I had not heard it…or did I ? I remembered I had the radio on in the  background as I prepared dinner and cleaned. Not such a weird dream after all I guess...but it does not explain giving birth to hippos made from blueberries.

 

STILL  in process of redesigning....

Time For a Trim

Well, Last week I decided it was time, that it had to happen. There was definitely a sense of urgency as I  lugged the trimmer and the  6 foot ladder out of the shed. It had been raining so much and I was planning on going on a trip, so I  had to take full advantage of this rare dry, and warm evening. Yes,I finally trimmed the yews. Quite a satisfying job really.  Although this is only my second time having done it, I feel it went very well. I trimmed a lot, filled the entire compost bin. They were getting so big and had countless branches of various shapes and sizes erratically growing from all angles. Once I got over the part where I imagined it must feel somewhat like this (albeit slightly more psycho) to kill a newborn. That is to say once I  got past the cutting off of the fresh newly formed  bright green branches, I was fine. I was not quite Edward Scissor hands mind you, but I must say  I did do a pretty good job on giving them some shape, and as I living thing I feel they looked as if a burden had been lifted from them, like they could breathe better. Not so tangled up, not so much responsibility. They thanked me. I thanked them.

A Change...

In the  process of redesigning...please be patient. Thanks, Za x. 

The Floating Boy

Yard sales...so much work, so I have to wonder why I do this to myself. Yes, I make money, yes, it can be quite profitable, but I don't think that this fact alone drives me.

I've had many yard sales over the years. At one point I had them out of necessity, a way to eat something other than Mr. Noodles and french fry sandwiches for the week (yes, we all have a past). At one point I had them to rid myself of the belongings of another which were in my possession (that I no longer wanted or needed). I've had them to help specific causes, each creating its own unique memories but why, why now when I don't really need to do this, do I put myself through all this hard work? Why take up my rare beautiful Sat. morning doing this when I could be at the market or the beach?

First there's the preparations. Such a long process. Scan your belongings, pick something up, hold it, ponder, consider, remember, forget, decide how much it is worth...price it, put it in the yard sale box. Now, I don't mind going through all my belongings and deciding what I no longer need but the purging process can be excruciating, the memories, well...the memories...but, It can also be cleansing and freeing. Its amazing how much emotion we can attach to an item.

I'm not one to just throw everything out on sale day and decide what it is worth at the very moment some stranger asks. I like to price everything before. The price scheme seems directly linked to what feel at a certain moment. It was quite notable when and individual approached with 3 articles of clothing. I'd priced each at $1.00, but the smiley faced Joe Boxers she barely wore ONCE when we made love were $5.00! I end up throwing them in for free.

Wouldn't it just be easier on so many levels to donate everything and be done with it I've asked myself?

Yes, it would, I've told myself, but then I would have missed the joy on the face of the little girl who spend a very long time rooting through a bin of fridge magnets finally deciding on a very pretty cat head magnet, minus the magnet but for her, it was THE perfect one as she handed me the hot sweaty toonie she had been holding in her hand and waited for her change.
Then there was the very skinny fridge magnet collecting man from NS who was delighted to find the bin and bought all of them for $5.00. "Made his whole trip worth while" he said. He told me his entire deep freeze is covered in magnets he has collected over the years. Imagine that.

I would have missed the woman who needed a new frying pan because the non- stick surface of hers was wearing off, the man who goes to yard sales to gather things for a seniors group he organizes, and the woman who only has a VCR and has a rough time finding movies to watch. She shares that movies help her get through the night. I ignore my desire to give them all to her, but I must be careful not to insult and ultimately I do want to make some money.

I would have missed the young mother just starting out who needed a toy box/coffee table combo that was safe for her little girl, and also the little boy who bought the cordless mouse for $2.00, but couldn't afford the keyboard, that went with it for $5.00 as he rooted through his plastic wallet, his adult companion leaving the decision entirely up to him. Sweet, as he contemplated the value for his money. Of course I couldn't see him leave without the keyboard he loved so we settled on $3.00 for both.

I would not know that my old writing desk with three drawers (which until the night before was in the basement housing gift wrap supplies) would be refinished by a grandfather and given to a young girl to use in her bedroom as a dresser and a desk.

I would never have met the two lovely older ladies near the end of my sale. One woman was travelling from Oregon. I loved that she knew all about Henry Miller as she chose a movie about his life, and that we had a brief chat about him and lots of other stuff. I could have talked to them all day, but I was burning from the sun's rays.

Mostly though, at least this this round, I love that our inflatable boat which was blown up the night before (despite the down pour) to ensure it had no holes, simply delighted a man who shared with me that he wanted it for his autistic son who finds the sensation of floating calming. He said, "he would love this boat because he could lay down and stretch out in it if he wanted to". That made my day, it made all the work worth while.

Yes, I think what I like most about having yard sales is watching people find a treasure, sharing their joy, listening to their stories and knowing that things I no longer want or need have a whole new life. Yes, that's it! I like knowing there may be a happy boy floating somewhere, maybe today, a beautiful sunny day in our area, in a boat that was deflated in our shed for two seasons. New life, yes, that's why I do it. It gives me & the things I part with new life.

No Frills

Yesterday I stopped at the No Frills on my way home. It was a beautiful day, sun high in the sky, an awesome view of the harbour from the parking lot. I felt grateful. I just wanted to get some black beans for a recipe I was making. As I drove over the perfectly smooth new pavement I decided that I might also get some Chapman's vanilla frozen yogurt. That would be a treat, I deserved a treat. Yes, beans and ice cream. That's all I needed, Quick and easy, in and out.

As I approached the store I saw a grimy young man sitting down on the pavement right next to the entrance, cardboard sign in hand, big black block letters with decorative red stripes inside each letter of the words "Travelling" "Hungry" & "Anything will help". He was wearing black boots, jeans and a green army type jacket . God he must be hot, I thought as I passed by him saying hello to the skinny boxer mix laying on the pavement next to him, her head on the young man's crossed legs as he leaned up against the building, a small tattered back pack on the cement next to him.

It is worthy of note to say we are not used to seeing this sort of thing in our area. Everything/one here has a place, a history, a purpose. Most people can speel off someone's family history in an instant. An unknown is potentially also an unwelcome.

I have seen this guy before, or someone who looks like him holding a similar, but not so pretty sign at the intersection near the bridge during the busy traffic times, minus the dog. It was easy to ignore that guy though, easy to just drive by and not even look at him. For some reason, the young man at No Frills was not as easy to ignore. He was there, in front of me as I walked by. He seemed more real. He was young, and intelligent looking. He had kind eyes with which I got eye contact as he rubbed his dog's back.

As I rushed to the bean section I pondered how this person might have come to this point in his life. I had an internal dialogue that brought me to a place where I wondered if this man was just doing some kind of social experiment. Nah I decided, why would ya?

Most people just walked by him like he wasn't even there. I couldn't. Suddenly I found myself searching for food that might work for this person who was "travelling". I travelled once, but it wasn't called that. I was like a frantic mother getting last minute things for their child who was going on a road trip. Displaced nurturing...is that a thing? Hmmm, lunchables...well, I wouldn't buy those for myself, but it could work for a "travelling " man and it has protein...sort of. Yes, lunchables...and something for the dog, but not a can that requires an opener or storage. A V8 for him maybe...and oh something for fun...chocolate and some cheesies. What is wrong with me? Lets throw in some YOP and some cold water.

Za...are you nuts? Perhaps this man is in this position because of his own bad choices, maybe he is a rebel, just lazy, a criminal, a druggie? Either way I felt it worth the risk. All I had to lose was a few dollars after all. Maybe it could help...or maybe I would lose 10 bucks and feel a bit foolish...but maybe... just maybe it could help for a second at least.

So I packaged up a few things and passed them to him on the way out. NO FRILLS ATTACHED. I told him there was something for the dog and I asked the dog's name. "That's Gina", he said. I stooped down, petted her and talked to her a while. She seemed happy, tail wagging. He thanked me. I left, and on the way , my window wide open, I heard him digging in the bag saying, "Oh look what you got!" as he pulled out one of the dog food packages and fed it to Gina right away. His tone was the same I might use with my own dog. He looked up and mouthed thank you, I nodded as I drove away. Gina's long skinny tail was frantically wagging as she devoured her dinner.

I realized I had forgotten the beans.

The next day in the staff room I heard people say things about the guy at the No Frills. "They should have made him leave." "I don't need to see that" "He should get a job" "How can he have a dog?" " I wouldn't give him anything" "Sometimes those people just have dogs so people will approach them" Etc...etc...
I said nothing. I found myself wanting to defend him though, but I was silent.

I asked the dogs name, but I didn't think to ask his. Hope his "travels" are going well and he reaches his destination on time and in tack. I asked the dog's name...but I didn't ask his ... I asked the dog's name...