A MATTER OF FACT

Being just on the tail end of Pride celebrations in our region, It seems I am again faced with the same questions I ask myself every year. Is Pride still relevant or necessary? What exactly are we celebrating anyway?  If you look back on my blog there will be evidence of my past questionings. Every year also, it seems,  I find an answer.

This year, my answer came to me in the  most unexpected form, my seven year old niece. She is a wonderful reminder of one of the reasons why Pride is still important.

She arrived  for her recent visit to PEI with a great bit of enthusiasm and luggage to match. The first thing I  did was show her her room, she and I still a little shy with each other because I had not seen her for a long while.  We set her up in my partner’s office which aside from some prayer flags above her window and some family pictures on a shelf above her desk is quite “officy”.  Our first conversation went as follows as she set up what would be her new surroundings for the next 5 days.

7 year old: Do you like rainbows?

Me: Yeah, I like rainbows.

7 year old: Does Mary like rainbows?

Me: Yes, Mary likes them too.

(At this point I look around the room for evidence of rainbows. I see none, not one, and since I do not spend much time with 7 year old people it does not occur to me just yet that we might not be discussing rainbows at all).

7 year old: Do you and Mary like rainbows a lot?             

( I am  starting to get it ,and suddenly I  am feeling very  hot and stressed because I am in no way feeling equipped to have a conversation about Pride and rainbows etc…with a 7 year old whose parents and I have not  had any kind of conversation  with about this topic. It all happened so fast.)

Me:  (Secretly hoping we are, in fact, discussing rainbows from the sky and nothing else) “Yes, we both like them; they are pretty, and colourful and they make people happy because it means there is sunshine. (I say this in my best amateur “talking to a seven year old” voice).

7 year old: (Clearly not satisfied with my response, tries another angle confirming my fear, this conversation is not at all about "rainbows") “Are you and Mary married?”

Me: “Omm, no, we are not married”, I say, but not wanting to lie to her, I add “but we are like married.”

(This seemed to be an okay answer, but I knew by her questioning look that she was not entirely sure what I meant, so I continued.) “Well, you know how Mommy and Daddy sometimes call each other husband and wife? Well, it’s kind of like that. (I struggle with my words as she looks at me expectantly with her big brown eyes.) “Mary and I call each other partner; she calls me her partner and I call her my partner.” 

I  brace myself for where this  question might lead, but to  my  surprise she looked completely  satisfied with this response, like it all of suddenly made sense to her. She raised her little arms in the air in relief for having finally reached an answer to her “rainbow” question. She looked right at me...

 7 year old: “Oh, so you're gay?” She said all mattter of fact like.

Me: (Now even though this is a word I  do not use much in reference to myself, I felt it  fit just  right here). “Yes, yes, I am”.  I confirm as she continues to unpack her suitcase, moving on to the next subject completely uninterested in any further info on rainbows etc….

7 year old: Can I open this now? She says in a reference to some to some fun tongue tattoos we had put in a gift basket on her bed.  

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Now, while this seemed a minor conversation for her. I was left enlightened and amazed at her attitude, like us being “gay” was not and should not be a big deal. And for me it normally is not, but adding a 7 year old to the mix made me a little more cautious for lack of a better word here. Not sure what else I expected, but it was so sweet. I believe she merely needed confirmation...from me. The subject never came up again until later when I brought out my rainbow flag to show her and briefly tell her about the meaning of each of the colours.

The next day, she promptly found her bracelet making kit and made me a rainbow bracelet.

I shall treasure it and that moment when she and I both had a moment of clarity. 

So, this year I realize Pride is relevant because the visibility of "rainbow" celebrations everywhere has gotten us to the  point where a seven year old (Who will grow up and form part of the future adult community)  makes me feel comfortable by saying, “Oh, so you're gay?” (like god, why didn't ya just say so kind of tone) but she can start her conversation by asking me if I like rainbows. Yes, I like rainbows  and you, Miss Victoria, A LOT!! 

Spirit of its Own

Updated: Sunday Aug 15th

A SPIRIT OF ITS OWN

So much to talk about, so little time to talk about it. It's Sunday morning, it's warm outside, still summer but the evenings cool off fast, ya just know that fall and winter are just around the corner, but for now lets get back to summer.

Natal day weekend we went camping at a place in Nova Scotia called The Mermaid and the Cow.

This is a very special place. Not only is the campground itself located in a beautiful natural setting in Pictou County, Nova Scotia, but the whole camping experience was beautiful.

Let me explain. This is a campground aimed at the gay community. Now, normally I'm not one for gay this, gay that, but I was drawn to this campground first out of curiosity and secondly out of it's convenient location for a quick trip. I thought about it for a number of years having heard of it through the colourful grapevine but this year we decided to go. I had no real expectations except for a quiet weekend get-away.

Upon arriving we were greeted and personally welcomed by the owner, Jane and introduced to her fiance Sue. Jane explained a bit about the campground's services and the local area and then directed us to the cabin we would be staying in. (We were lucky enough to have reserved the only cabin; I'll talk about that later.) Right from the moment we drove up the little hill into the lane there was a positive vibe. Located on a grassy hill and visible from everywhere at the campround a rainbow flag waved gently in the summer breeze. To our right we saw a barn, and recognized a small rainbow sticker on the tractor parked in the barn, a welcoming and familiar sign. We also noted a unique horse in the field. So homey. To our left we saw an RV, some other campers and array of tents dotting the green land. The place is surrounded by trees creating a sense of privacy or a hugging sensation. (in us more dramatic folks) Right away I knew we had made the right choice.

The cabin is sweet. A camping cabin, so you still feel you are camping, but it has everything you need, a shower, a toilet, a two burner gas stove, a full size fridge, and a very charming functional cooking wood stove. Aside from the stove which helped warm up the mornings and cooked some bacon & eggs, my favorite part was the screened in room that overlooks the campground. There is an amazing view in the distance too, hills and green as far as you can see. It was so relaxing sitting in that porch writing, feeling the breeze, not being bothered by the bugs. It was so quiet and peaceful. The cabin was well worth the fee we paid to stay there.

Something that struck me was the fact that there are no wires going to the cabin, visually this is pleasing but it also gives a sense of not being connected to the world for a moment even though you are. I like that.

Another thing that took me by surprise was the sense of community that I felt here. For a weekend it was a treat to be surrounded by like minded people. Every weekend evening there is a communal fire so you don't feel so awkward showing up and joining in, making it easy to meet new people and possibly make new friends and connections. We happened to be there on a long weekend so as a result there was special events like a dance on the Sat. night with a dj that played great music for a diverse crowd. And if that was not enough already there were fireworks near the end of the dance, and a potluck dinner on Sunday in the screened in gazebo which Jane calls the Gayzebo. Another way to meet people and establish the sense of community which to my own surprise I really liked.

Don't get me wrong, I've lots of community in my life, professional community, my writer's community, local community...this was different though. There was a sense of freedom to just be and do what you what. There was a real feeling of respect in the air, for difference, for individuality, and for sameness if this is possible???

I think that for me this was a wonderful weekend camping experience and that I have since re-entered my normal daily life...but for some others, this unique place might be a very important part of their personal journey. This place might be helping someone feel a real sense of pride that they might not have felt elsewhere, help them feel connected to a community, help them move forward, feel validated and that, I think, is priceless and one of the reasons I feel this little place in the middle of nowhere is so very special.

For me it was a place where I could dance freely and openly with my partner, where we could

walk hand in hand and not think twice about it...things like this, and it's just a great campground aside from all that. (did I mention the swimming pool) So I really applaud Jane and anyone who has or is helping her with this campground. I feel that this place of great importance that has a spirit all of it's own. We do plan to return and I hope you will check it out too if it suits your life.

THE AREA:

There was lots to do in the area too. Nearby there is a maple syrup farm called SugarMoon that also has a restaurant serving hardy and tasty maple products. I can still taste the maple coffee and hot biscuit with maple butter. But what I remember distinctly is the small rainbow sticker on the door. Very welcoming. Then when you leave (or even if you don't go to the restaurant) if you are so inclined you can go for a hike. There is a 6.2 km wilderness trail which we did and enjoyed very much, and there is also a shorter trail for those not so ready for a long hike. I know, I sound like an ad, but I think this experience is worth sharing. the area is so beautiful.

River John is quaint, Tatamagouche is cute, Rushton's beach is nearby. We went there, flew a rainbow kite and hung out for a while. We also visited a lavender farm and had some lavender ice cream and visited a sheep farm.

Yes, we did lots, but I imagine if you just wanted to stay put, that The Mermaid and The Cow is a quiet and peaceful place to do just that. I'm not sure I could do straight camping again. Now there's a sentence I never thought I would print...until next time