"Finishing Something Frees Up Energy"

It's Sunday already. I promised myself that I was gonna post something today. I've been thinking about it now for at least two days. I considered so many options but they all seemed boring and forced. I don't like that feeling. (Perhaps this is why I have not been posting regularly) Then I was flipping through a notebook that I use in my writer's group & I came across the above quote from my friend Yvette. All of a sudden it made sense to me. I also had just finished reading a post by a FB friend about her finishing a 5k and having reached her goals. Then I remembered my first 5k and what a good feeling finishing something actually is. It is freeing... so what's wrong with me...don't I want to be free? Weird...just as I write this, I'm sure coincidentally, there is a song playing with the lyrics "don't you want to live free?" it's all a bit witchy. (DOBACARACHOL is the name of the group I'm listening to, and I have not listened to this in so long) I am such a procrastinator.
I know this. I AM A PROCRASTINATION TOOL. At my writer's retreat I was having trouble getting motivated so I wrote a monologue about procrastinating. The words came easily. Within minutes I had a 10 min monologue ready to go. Don't get me wrong; I'm proud of it. It's funny, it's a sarcastic reflection that I am sure many writers can relate to, and really it's a bit of a record of my weekend with 7 of my favorite people, but I was avoiding writing all the good juicy stuff, the stuff I should be writing. The burning house (as Anne Simpson called it in a workshop I once took with her)... Well, I mostly avoid burning houses, but...guess I gotta go in if I want to rescue the story.
It's true, the whole "frees up energy" idea...I made pasta sauce first thing this morning, now it's gone from my head ...welcome energy to use for my writing. I baked a great choc cake...excellent, welcome...more energy. More energy to work on my novel. I finally get it so I'm gonna need to finish this post soon cause i need the energy to run from the burning house if I have to, or to stay there, finish the story and deal with the heat of it all.

Writing, procrastination

Feeling like I should be writing tonight, taking advantage of the stormy weather, but really I just want to do nothing. I have told myself that doing nothing tonight is just fine; there is

no reason I must always do something! My writer's group was cancelled tonight, so I am off the hook a bit, (something about cancellations, unless it is a flight, that I enjoy), but I always feel like I should write during that time anyway. So...this is in some small way my writing exercise for tonight. I have told myself that I want to have a functional manuscript for my own purposes by the end of 2009, well this is not going to just appear now is it? I write primarily because I must, and then because I enjoy it, but when it comes to sitting down with a purpose and a writing goal I tend to procrastinate, find fifteen other things that must be done at that very moment. Perhaps my goal should be to lock myself in my writing room once a week for a period of time until I can find my burning house for my novel. (I like writing out the words "my novel").

What is a burning house you might ask? I had the same question when the topic came up.. It was answered for me at a retreat this summer. It is the part of a novel that the writer leads up to, some crisis I suppose. The climax, whatever you want to call it, it seems to be the most difficult part to write. I was told by the experienced and wise instructor at that retreat that sometimes this is the most difficult part to write, and that the author herself might not know what it is until she actually writes it. It can also be that the author does know what it is, but avoids writing it. I think that is the case with me. In fact the very word that is covered up in the above photo is my burning house I believe. I just noticed that. Interesting.

Planning to attend another retreat this summer I hope...if they will have me...a good gift for myself, and a great learning experience usually...oh...and fun.

Well, I'm officially rambling. If nothing else tonight I thought about writing and perhaps set myself a goal. Eventually I would like to put some links of interest to other writers on my blog, but that is a weekend project for sure. Stay tuned.