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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Eatin stuff

The dog just entered the room eating a red ink pen. He likes to eat pens. He finds them everywhere. He likes money too, just coins. He finds them everywhere, places I don't think to look for money I guess. Think I might collect them (the coins) for a year and then buy him something really nice, like a great big dog chewie that looks, feels and tastes like a pen. How I will know if it "tastes" like a pen is yet to be determined. He knows he is not supposed to eat pens cause he looks at you all guilty and sweet.

When I was younger I ate things I was not supose to eat too. Maybe he'll grow out of this.

Remember that...when you were younger and you ate things that were not really designed for eating? Remember, well lets say erasers. "Rubbers" have come to mean something entirely different, but that's another topic for another day.

When I was a child I chewed on my rubbers all the time. Maybe that's why I always had to borrow one from Kelly... because I ate all mine. Yup, it did not matter if they were on top of a pencil or in a pencil case. They were mine, all mine, to munch on. Remember those great big rubbers, the "giant" ones? Some actually had the word giant written on them. You would have to actually make some GIANT mistakes to need an eraser that big, but my what a feast for a girl who enjoyed eating them. Not big bites, but little descret bites. Particularly I enjoyed the blue end, the end that claimed it could erase pen.

Well, what a miracle that was, to erase pen I mean...hmmm...

I was not allowed to have a pen. A pen was , well, a forbidden privledge meant only for adults, the ones that did not make mistakes...yeah right. (another post pehaps)
A pen was something your teacher had, something she corrected your work with. I had a pen though, a secret treasure I stole from the librarian at my elementary school. Slipped it right up under my white turtle neck sleve one day when I assumed she was not looking.

Once you wrote with a pen, there was no going back. Even when I tried to erase my pen with the side of the eraser that claimed it could, it ripped the pages and well, my work did dissappear but only because I tore the page. I guess gentle would have been the key. Slow and easy,
"g-e-n-t-l-e" Za!!! Still have trouble with that one. Either way, my stolen pen was my secret joy and a prized possesion. Sometimes I would make marks just to try to erase them. Now of course this is all before the day of the big miracle "ERASABLE PEN" by BIC. Another wonderful invention, and tasty treat I might add. It smuged the words away, but they were always there under the new word, so why not just eat the useless eraser.

I was a weird child, everyone said so. I did not mind. I still don't mind. I'm a bit of a weird adult too.

I wonder what the long term effects of eating the blue halfs of yours and all your friend's erasers are? Ate pencil erasers too, and chewed on the pencils like some kind of freaky child. Don't think I was nervous. I loved it when the paint on the pencils came off in my mouth, once I got it started I could peel the rest of the paint off and see the natural brown colour underneath. I liked looking at all the teeth marks on the pencil.

I used to eat glue too. The white stuff that dried clear. I would wait until it dried on my fingers and then I would peel it off with my teeth pretending it was my skin. Yup, not too weird, not too bad tasting either, kind of sweet. I also ate paper sometimes. When everyone else was making spit balls I was swallowing them. Guess I just liked office supplies.
What else...well there were those crazy waxy sticks with some kind of suggary liquid in them. (What the heck were they and why did parents give them to their children?) The objective was to bite or cut off the end and then drink the sweet nectar, but no, I ate the whole damn thing, and birthday candles too. Chewed them like gum, then swallowed everything. Lets add crayons since we are at it, but I spit them out after I chewed them up. Guess I just liked wax. And, oh yes, I ate caulking, or chewed on it like gum and some other kind of black rubbery stuff that felt like gum.

So yeah, eatin stuff is a strange topic...but just so ya know, I don't eat any of those things now and I have turned into a well balanced, normal functioning adult, (just have some odd tales) but I still swallow my gum and I will still pick glue off my fingers given a situation where I might have gluey fingers) but I don't eat it.

And on a sortta related matter, just the other day someone told me that he made his little sister eat a caterpillar by convincing her it was good.

It would be interesting to hear about weird things others ate.
Bon appetite, Za

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